Is that time of the year again. When you start making your balance, count your sorrows and blessings. You know, like in accounting. Add, subtract and see how much credit and debit you have. You all get the idea.

So here It is what I’ve learnt over the past year:

1. If you think you hit rock bottom, think again. Bottom can be much deeper that you’ve ever envisaged. Don’t underestimate your feelings.

2. Anger will not help. Even tough some anger helps, being angry at the world is just making your life a hell lot more miserable.

3. At some point I was a firm believer in karma. You know, that belief that you receive back everything you throw In the universe.

Well, let’s just say: I am starting to doubt karma.

4. Never underestimate the kindness of people. Never. I am grateful for all the people I met this year, their grace, goodness and humanity. And even more grateful for my friends. You all know who you are and obviously you will never know because you are not reading my blog, ungrateful bastards.

5. When you think you lost hope for good, something truly good will happen and your hope will be exceeded by some kick ass reality. #viatabatefilmul

6. Be humble. Do not let anyone transform you to the point of being cruel. Is a valid lesson.

7. Maybe the most important lesson I got this year: don’t force things. Love is not an exception.

8. Is not your job to fix other people. As simple as that.

9. Give more. Living with less, doesn’t mean having less.

And this:

10. No good deed goes unpunished. I’ll tell you all about it over a cup of coffee.

So, my dear friend. I am grateful to all. Good and bad. And! an end is not a bad thing. It’s just a new beginning. I’ll stop now, I get a vibe here(!) but I promise all the above applies. Here’s to a graceful exit!

“There’s a trick to the ‘graceful exit.’ It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out.”

XoXo

Not long ago, I’ve been asked what humility means to me. Just some minutes before having an experience that could bring to the surface the opposite of this very state.

One question that was supposed to be simple. Ask yourself this. Difficult ha?

A few weeks later I am still thinking about it. It didn’t occurred to me (before), that I might not truly grasp the meaning of humility completely. Of course, you might say, we are all aware or we think we are certain of things that, actually, we don’t truly understand until something comes up and change the whole perspective about it.Perspective my friends, is either a blessing or a curse.

Humble? Of course I am, I thought. Stay humble and it will pay off they say. Off course, I am strong in my beliefs and some harsh few hours of reality check up will not get me. I KNOW myself.

Turns out that I can still surprise myself – and not in a pleasant way. Well, in my defence, the experience managed to surface in me exactly what they predicted – the opposite of humility. And judgment took over. Not out of fear. But rather anger and little understanding. I formed an opinion that might be contrary to the belief system that we are all brainwashed to adhere to. And you will tell me each one of you: I got this. Nah, you don’t.

The thing is: nothing is always black or white. We can look at humility from an ethical stand point. I am not a good person if I don’t stand with it and rather go against? Or, in some cases being humble is not in our best interest. And who got any winning from being humble anyway? Just take a look at the Jesus guy. I mean he’s famous, indeed, for more than two thousand years now, but was it really worth it?

Or pretending to be humble in order not to stand out. Because we all desperately need to fit in.

Humility has some big shoes to fit in. If you manage, chapeau to you and if you don’t, that’s ok, don’t beat yourself up.

Or, at least, that’s how I try to convince myself. Don’t be humble. Just be you.

Let it be uncomfortable.

Slow down, observe and let it be messy and very uncomfortable. Some raw feels within you will be awoke. The best move at this point is try not to tidy up. Allow yourself to feel the mess, immerse in it. Feel the sensation of it all. Because sometimes things need to be unresolved for a while, allow yourself space for introspection and seek your truth.

Namaste

I don’t think that i have ever seen in bookstores such a big offer of books touching feminism/gender equality/self help – topics as much as I see these days.

You don’t believe me? just take a trip to any bookstore and convince yourself. It’s amazing. You would think that with such a variety we are all equally tolerant, equally good and LGBTQ+ aware and understanding, less judgemental, perfectly educated having the best emotional intelligence and empathy etc etc.

But, nope. Yet, in the same time, I have never seen displayed so much hatred, intolerance, fear, frustrations and violence against a particular minority for the simple reason that they are different. Different sexual orientation, different beliefs, different values, different skin colour, different continent, different anything. And you would argue that was there all along, except we couldn’t see it as clear as we see it now due to the mass of communication channels that make that possible.

I mean discrimination is discrimination and we cannot place one form of discrimination above another, yet I just want to focus on a particular aspect: Hate speech against women. I have never seen so much hatred towards women as I can see in today’s news, political propaganda, blogs, forums, any form of media you follow – online or offline. Everywhere you can find a piece against women. Either directly or indirectly- women are treated with contempt, condescension, humour, disgust, or ignored all together. I mean, let’s not forget in some countries, like Saudi Arabia – women had no right to vote until 2011! Yes, you read that right, 2011 – just a few years back. You will argue that Saudi Arabia is not the best example. Because of the politico- social cultural religious background etc etc. Ok, you are right. What about Portugal? where all restrictions were only lifted in 1975. 1975. All right? That’s only 43 years ago exactly.

You will say that, ok, humans are learning their lessons slowly and it takes time to move to utopia world where we are all equal and where cultural coutumes are broken to reach a perfect state of equality between genders. That some countries are slow in adapting to the new world and we carry our cultural burden within, without even being aware. And I agree – still why the opposite of the good is faster to disseminate and take over? Is something deeply wrong with our ancestral DNA? Yes, I am actually asking this question.

Ok. I am happy about the great selection of books out there, also I would hope that more and more of us get access to self educating literature. I would also hope that we get some serious self doubt and questioning our deeply imprinted Cultural DNA. But seeing the internet of all things pouring with hate speech, propaganda, ignorance and fear – I truly believe we are in minority. Seeing my own people (as in Romanian government) holding a referendum to define the family (????) in the constitution hence also indirectly towards women ( i said also) – and the followers that go by that agenda, oh well, it’s a sad, sad world. And even more ignorant than 40 years ago.

Otherwise, all good, namaste.

“All the girls in the world were divided into two classes: one class included all the girls in the world except her, and they had all the usual human feelings and were very ordinary girls; while the other class -herself alone- had no weaknesses and was superior to all humanity.”
Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

“…Coca-Cola and fries, the wafer and wine of the Western religion of commerce.”

Tad Williams, City of Golden Shadow (Otherland, #1)

Trier is a little city in southwestern Germany on the top of the Moselle valley (wine region) and near the Luxembourg border.

I said wine region – enough said. But wait, there is more, so much more.

Trier, also known as the oldest city in Germany was founded by Augustus in 15 B.C., and it was the Roman “Augusta Treverorum” for 500 years. So you see Trier is so Roman at the core that it feels even some thousand years later. For most of the fourth century, this city was the favored residence of Roman emperors. Checking the distance from Rome to Trier – about 900 km’s – wow, that’s impressive even for the Romans. The Roman feels is everywhere in this little city and you can easily understand – I love it. One look at Porta Nigra and i was: oh why! Hello! Why I only know you now?

And then, if I want to be boring and get all academic I will share another fact here: Trier is the birthplace of Karl Marx which makes it packed with Chinese tourists searching for the roots of the anti-capitalism Guru. If you don’t know Marx – shame on you (or rather, good for you?) – here it is the grossly simplified dictionary definition of his work: Marxism. noun. The political and economic philosophy of Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels in which the concept of class struggle plays a central role in understanding society’s allegedly inevitable development from bourgeois oppression under capitalism to a socialist and ultimately classless society.

I would say more about Trier but you will all think that I am biased by the wine , the elixir of gods they produce here. Or the Apfelstrudel and/or Apfelkuchen. And you would be right.

Just go there.