Seeing this documentary, I started to wonder where my “sea within” has gone. And I came up with a not so different narrative.
As a little girl I thought that the world is limited to the universe that was around me: the grey communist building I was living surrounded by even more morose buildings in my neighbourhood, the little-improvised garden in the back guarded fiercely by two old ladies, the empty market a few minutes walk from me, that was for some reason open every day even though you couldn’t literally buy any food, the two cemented long stairs up the hill next to my building, promising to take you somewhere in a different and magical new dimension – stairs that I was not brave enough to climb out of fear for what I remember to be a long time during my childhood. (Later on, I discovered that those stairs are, indeed, the way to a new and different reality).
In my defense, back then, I did not have any TV, internet or a smart phone to open so many and endless possibilities as we have today. Yet, we had books and imagination. And intuition.
“Innsæi” – translates literally from ancient Icelandic as intuition. However, I’ve read that in Iceland, it has multiple meanings. It can also mean “the sea within” – the borderless nature of our inner world, a constantly moving world of vision, feelings and imagination beyond words. It can mean “to see within” which means to know yourself and to know yourself well enough to be able to put yourself in other people’s shoes. And it can mean “to see from the inside out” which is to have a strong inner compass to navigate your way in our ever-changing world.
At the moment, it seems that I am taking part along with humanity in a sort of collective soul sickness. A global epidemic of existential distress. Distraction, entertainment we call it. Noise. The constant noise in today’s world turns off the contact with oneself. The noise of the external world is muting the sound of our internal world, therefore, the intuition pays the price for it.
Meanwhile, I’ve learned about the world (yet, not enough), travel some – my limited universe expanded to a great extent (yet, not enough), I’ve seen markets that I could never dream about (yet, not enough), I am not afraid to climb stairs: real or fictive (yet, none displaying any magical universe). Despite all that, I seem to have lost my precious innsæi. And I want it back.