Dear me (or better yet) ME,
Remember when you thought that being 4o is old and by then you shall have it all figure it out? Well, the bad news is that you won’t. The good news is that you will realise you don’t need too.
Partly because of a thing called internet. By then, you’ll have this thing in your pocket and you can learn pretty much everything about everything (long story, but trust me on this, information will be somewhat a commodity. No, not all information- well, it’s complicated, be patient).
You are a full grown adult now. I want you to know that you did well. Even if, at times, everything seems pretty dramatic, you should worry less.
I know that now seems important to have a relationship but, trust me, it isn’t. Go for the thing that keeps your mind busy and do everything that seems impossible. Nothing is greater than following that aspirations and make them yours.
Another thing: No one, but NO ONE, deserves your time and energy to the point of losing yourself. Just let go when it’s time.
Do your homework, read and read and then, read some more. It’s the best advice I can give and it will worth all your time.
Focus. Don’t lose focus and you will end up good.
Be curious and don’t settle. Go for more, go for the full plate, maybe you will not get it at the speed you want it but one day you will.
This one important piece: don’t listen to anyone telling you that you can’t do that one thing (especially don’t listen to your loser father). You will see, soon enough, that you will accomplish plenty.
Amazing experiences and people will come your way and it will be a bit overwhelming but you will handle it all gracefully.
And if it seems like a dream now, you should know that you have travelled plenty and you’ve seen some of the most amazing places in the world.
Be humble and dont take anything for granted. All the beauty of life comes with hard work.
I wish you would know now that you are great. You are nothing less nor inferior in any way to others. I wish you could see this now.
And if someone will offer you a crazy job in Afghanistan or Cambodia, just take it. You will thank me later. Or even, just an internship in Budapest. Still one of the best things that will happen to you.
I wish you would be more happy and understand the privilege of your life. The great expectations will turn out to be completely different, yet, amazing in so many different ways.
Oh and, watch Matrix as soon as it’s released, don’t wait until you are 40. It will make it more bearable for you to swim through the reality of life if you get that perspective.
You don’t always need to have the last word. Sometimes silence is the best response to a fool. You are not everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s ok. Your sarcasm and straightforwardness will get you into trouble sometimes but you should not change it just to fit in.
I will not lie to you: sometimes it gets really really hard that you will not have the power to lift yourself up. And it will take years to be able to change that. Once you understand that shall pass too, the ride will become smoother.
As long as you have yourself – you’ ll do just fine. Just remember that sometimes you will lose yourself, and that is ok. Just remember to always find yourself and don’t dwell too much into history.
In the end none of it matters. Not your weight, appearance, your clothes nor your family background (oh well, maybe this just a little but you know better than that).
Love. Your wiser self.