PersonalBlogging

Afterlife

In the last two months I’ve tried my best to avoid any news about Covid. Yet, is was not easy since we are basically living our lives on social media and, either I want it or not, I came across all sorts of articles, speculations, theories and all, that you are probably aware as much as I am.

Most news trigger the negative out of the situation we are facing and predict a rather bleach future. So I thought (despite having a really hard time, i will not lie to you) to think and display what comes rather positive from this experience. Just as an exercise.

As it turns out, the pro list is long and just proves is a matter of perspective. When you think of it, it may seem like a few months/ weeks/ days foggy, cloudy and darkness passing without any meaning whatsoever.

In reality, for some of us (me), this time of being on our own, reflecting, ruminating, being frustrated, fighting with ourselves and our own mind, it came as a process of acceptance and self discipline and getting our ass kicked, trial and error, fail again, rise again, face your fears, fight with your demons and, in the end, win.

Yes, I don’t use the word “win” lightly, if you know me at all. Still it feels like I have won. I won my self respect and self love – how hard was that? Hard. It might sound arrogant (if it sounds arrogant, it is arrogant) but it feels the universe, Mother Nature, whatever, you name it, decided to give me a lesson. And the only way to stop me going around like a chicken whose head was just cut off, was to put me into my place and let me shrink the process. Yes, it feels like I would have continued the chaos without being able to find order. Another way to put it: feels like a shock therapy.

I know the chicken without the head rambling around Is a strong metaphor. And if you don’t know how a chicken behaves in those particular circumstances, I would not advise you to check – I was “lucky” enough to see it as a child, part of the life and death cycles, the survival of the fittest or the food chain pyramid, if you like.

I digress. What I am trying to say is that despite all the nostalgia for my former life and whatever came with that, there is also the excitement about the new one. A new beginning, a new era of “firsts” and the humility and privilege of experiencing that.

As I’ve heard the other day someone saying: “I’ve been through communism, I have experienced extreme capitalism, I witnessed 9/11, the economic crisis from 2008, climate change – honestly, I am fed up being part of the privileged generation to witness so many extraordinary historical events.”

Same here. I mean, we could have all skipped this scary, frightening experience, but in the end we couldn’t avoid it. So here ! we are bitching about it. Or not. It’s all a matter of perspective.

From blonde to yours. Namaste

Later edit: Let me make it sharply clear that my intention in this piece or any of my writing is never to downplay or minimise unfathomable suffering happening physically, economically, socially and emotionally all over the world right now. Blanket statements don’t excuse insensitivity and impact matters just as much as intention.

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