I should start this post by mentioning that I am not a Certified Therapeut or psychologist/psychiatrist so don’t take what I I write here for granted. However, I declare myself (by the power I got invested by Captain Planet) specialised in drama.
Since I am a specialist in that, I can write whatever – hence the following.
I know (for a fact) that grief comes in different stages. You never know how much you can take until is coming to you and somehow you deal with it. So it appears when you least expect it and sometimes you just know that is around the corner waiting for you.
There is no formula on how one deals with pain, anxiety and/or depression. Each individual handles it differently. However, I feel, that absolutely everyone is trying to avoid it before really letting it unfold. It makes sense since no one want to face their darkest, most deeply hidden fears. That’s why, when the darkness arrives, there is the incredible resistance to it. Resistance, however, is causing even more pain. Because it’s a fight with a feeling that is impossible to avoid therefore it’s a fight of you with you.
Equally, there is no magic formula that makes it disappear. Ok, there is Xanax but that’s not really sustainable on long- term. So each one of us has their self proclaiming system that might work (or not). I am writing about this because today I came across this topic and I discovered that people have a lot of creativity and self sustaining methods to cope with their own darkness. Also, what I was surprised to discover is that a great amount of people think and act (hopefully more often than not) about it. Unless you re Lykke Li and you think that “sadness is a blessing” (https://youtu.be/Xu-b3u5jDiU) – you, for sure, want to have it under control.
So do your yoga, meditation, mindfulness, reading, cardio or pottery class, whatever works for you – just do something and get that mojo of yours right where you want it. You are not alone and, I promise you, talking about it with someone you feel at ease, is already a big step in feeling better. Do whatever, the main thing is to act upon it. Do that little walk, listen to a podcast (about impressionist painters if you like), cook that dish, even though you are a total disaster in the kitchen, move yourself from one couch to another. Anything that works for you. I don’t know. One small gesture can mean a lot and your thoughts will be steered towards something else.
It’s always so surprising to see how open people get when this topic is on the table and mostly, how much they care about one another. Some hope in humanity is restored.