Have you noticed, when you talk with a administrative employee, a business contact or a lawyer, a government official or simply you make a call to your internet provider: you stop sounding like yourself and you start sounding more like them?
Yep. You go to the bank and you hear yourself saying: yes, I would like to check my investment fund dynamics for the last year and the margins of my investment for the last quarter (don’t take it literally I have no idea what I am talking about, just bluffing). Anyway, you get the point.
I’ve read somewhere that if you mimick the gestures of a person and you imitate their facial expression (mirroring it’s called, I think) chances are that, that person will like you. Easy, no? No. It never works. I tried, believe you me: unless you are brilliant in your conversation and looks to match with it, this mirroring thing is not working. (again, just theory here).
Miscommunication creates chaos. We interpret words with our mindset and often we get missinterpreted. There is not always a right way to communicate and to make ourselves understood. Yet, we can always aim for the better. We try harder, with (more or less) appropriate words, with willingness to communicate in the best possible way.
I don’t think much of this in my daily communication with the baker or asking my regular coffee. That’s straight forward, not much words but enough to compel an action. However, in a deeper more interpersonal level, communication is key (right in this moment, while writing, I think i sounds pretentious and condescending with this very line, still it’s ok, I can live with myself). But somehow we fail so often at expressing ourselves at this level and I think emotions get in the way of how we communicate. It’s easy to misinterpret a word, a gesture, even a non spoken word.
I have this friend that is using a heavy language, complicated words and phrases (both in our native language and in English), I often suspect that “they” have no idea about the meaning of the words, rather is more important to sound complicated and overly intellectual. Additionally, this friend is misusing the gramaire equally and the butchery is more painful when the friend insists on repeating the same error again and again. Sometimes, what should be an easy conversation about where to meet, becomes a painful exchange where I end up by giving up on asking any clarification. It feels like a maze.
My message would be: less is more. Simple is clearer. And often more effective.
Iarna nu-i ca vara.
Namaste. Hai pa.